We got everything on our list, baby!

Final Draft

Groom:
Alcoholism (Purchased)
Self-Disdain (Purchased)
Generalized Chaos (Purchased)
Financial Duress (Purchased)
Insecurity (Purchased)
Slavery (Purchased)
Isolation (Purchased)

Bride:
Fresh Start (Purchased)
Self-esteem (Purchased)
Time Structure and Stability (Purchased)
Investment Capital (Purchased)
Unconditional Love (Purchased)
Servitude (Purchased)
Social Laddering (Purchased)

Thank you for looking at our divorce registry. The bride has provided cake for the reception. See you there!