considering bankruptcy

i can’t wait
to spend all my money on toys,
in place of education
and experience
and bills (and you)
and retirement
and cremation.

i can’t wait
to explain i was born with the tools to do the job
but bought new ones to do new ones that,
sure, never made a dime,
but never left me
for strange penises,
and shallow, temporary flattery.

i can’t wait
for another chance to tell you
what you already know:
you will never be worth
what i gave for you.
no amount of work or patience
will repay that debt to myself.