This is your baby-making-year.

The Ohio Valley sinus is a moist, pink, sea-pen-shaped infection writing slashes and hyphens between the locals. Its tallest sweet/black/yellow/american birches, white ashes, red maples, oaks, and poplars whisper their Allegheny leaves into to the ears of and sneeze their Appalachian pollen into the hands of already-struggling breathers, who in turn print libel (back to one another, no less) on the front page of Lifestyles. Contagious readers, believers… Breeders.

They say there’s low pressure here, but the windigo is real. They say it kept its southern course with the Ojibwe squall; married with the Apalachee wraiths. It still hollers at these hyphenated liars who surge/slash-hyphen this thousand mile stretch of sewage in secret recourse – Chromosome exchange. Ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Why?

I already told you. There are two lies printed on the front page of every new/same issue, in Lifestyles:
One – Gypsy Moth Diet No Threat to Windigo Habitat, and
Two – Not enough goddamn pollen.